Have you ever experienced the pain of seeing someone you love hurt themselves?
Do you know how painful that is?
That you want to scream at the top of your lungs hoping somehow that the pain will stop…
Your heart will stop bleeding..
You can freeze time..
Your love for her is enough to help her..
YOU are enough to help someone you love.
But each time,
It gets worse & worse…
She’s not just hurting herself anymore…
She’s also hurting you as you witness her pain & the pain she inflicted onto you.
My client, Tyler, in his late 40s, described it to me.
“It is like watching someone slowly drown & there is nothing I can do to help her.” He said.
“As if Tyler didn’t exist, that I was just a body smeared into the background.. erased.. faded into the background.”
When his wife of 11 years has her schizophrenic/emotional breakdowns, she not only would hurt herself.
She, at times, would physically hurt him.
What do you do when you vowed to love someone who later diagnosed mental illnesses after marriage?
What do you do when you are afraid she may physically hurt you?
You are no longer safe in your own home.
In your own bed.
How much more selfless love should we provide to a person who can’t help themselves or refused to help themselves at times?
Who cannot stop hurting themselves?
Or stop hurting you?
Do we have the right to walk away?
Does that make us less of a spouse?
Or less of a human?
Do we have the right-
To save our own sanity?
To keep ourselves physically safe?
To save ourselves before we fully deteriorate to…
As if we no longer exist..
I think we do.
When we have to compromise our mental, emotional or physical safety in a relationship..
To the point of nothingness.
To the point where it becomes toxic.
Enough is enough.
～ Love you more ❤️