What Causes Insecurity In Relationships? - Kolline Lee Coaching

What Causes Insecurity In Relationships?


What Causes Insecurity In Relationships? We all have our own insecurities. Most importantly, we need to be aware of our insecurities and keep them in check so they don’t ruin our loving relationships. This video will help identify the 3 most common causes of insecurity in relationships. This will help you make better choices and become more aware so you can either have a more secure attachment style or walk away from those who can’t provide you the security you need, and will further perpetuate your insecurities in romantic relationships. Enjoy this video, like or comment on it.


Hi Guys,
We all have our own insecurities. Most importantly, we need to be aware of our insecurities and keep them in check so they don’t ruin our loving relationships.

Let’s identify the 3 most popular causes of insecurity in relationships

#1: Insecurity caused by our childhood
Our insecurities may come from our childhood. When we momentarily separate from our caretakers, we may have experienced “separation anxiety”, where we become either anxiously attached or avoidantly attached to our caretakers. Both are categorized as insecure attachment styles and may affect our romantic relationships when we are adults.

We may either act needy (anxiously attached) or distant (avoidantly attached) to our significant other. The first step is to become aware of our attachment style, then work towards having a more secured attachment style so our partners won’t feel either suffocated by our needy behaviors or alienated because we are emotionally unavailable.

#2: Insecurity caused by our past/current relationships
Our lives consist of many experiences. Our negative experiences may affect how we feel toward our relationships in general, especially if we internalize negative experiences as reflections of our self-worth.

For example, if we got cheated on or abandoned in our past relationships, we oftentimes believe it is our fault so we don’t feel worthy of being loved. But the truth is, we must realize that others should take accountability for their own behaviors, and their actions aren’t reflective of our own worth.


We need to identify if our insecurities are within ourselves or caused by their undesirable behaviors. Since we can’t control or change someone’s behavior, we need to have better judgment and walk away from the people who can’t provide the stability and security we need in a relationship.

#3: Insecurity caused by our lack of self-worth/confidence:
Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint the origin of our insecurity, since we bury those memories in our subconscious. But know this, we are insecure because of how we interpret past events to allow them to diminish our self worth.

When we believe in scarcity instead of abundance, we tend to settle in relationships because we don’t have the love or abundance within us to attract positivity and live an abundant life. When we accept our “perfectly” imperfect selves, we believe there is no limit in what the universe brings us, and we deserve everything we receive.

Don’t let our insecurities become reflections of how we feel within ourselves. The key to combat our insecurities is to embrace self-love and master self-confidence.

We need to understand the root of our insecurities so we can become more self-reliant and make better choices in life. Without overcoming our insecurities, no amount of love or comfort from our mate can make us feel loved.

I hope you have enjoyed this video.

As always, I love you more!

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