How To Know If She Is The One - Kolline Lee Coaching

How To Know If She Is The One

Summary

How To Know If She Is The One You are head over heels with this incredible woman you are dating. How do you know if she’s marriage material? The honest answer is you should know if she is marriage worthy if you are in touch with your own intuition, feelings, and emotions. Trust yourself that you have all the answers within you! Watch this video on the 6 main criteria that you should look at when you are considering marriage with a woman.

Transcript

Ok, you are head over heels with this incredible woman you are dating. How do you know if she’s marriage material? The honest answer is you should know if she is marriage worthy if you are in touch with your own intuition, feelings, and emotions. Trust yourself that you have all the answers within you!

Below are the 6 main criteria that you should look at when you are considering marriage with a woman.

#1 You want to marry “HER”

In your heart, you feel she may be the one. Thus, who started the marriage discussion? Did she or did you?

My point is- it should come from you, and your intuition and willingness to marry her, and not something that she’s been talking about on her own or pressuring you with.

Do you want to get married to HER? Or you just don’t want to stay single? It is important for you to stay self aligned- marriage is serious and intended for a lifetime.

We all know the divorce statistics, and how it can possibly impact children, family dynamics, and ultimately, your well-being and future.

#2 You inspire/support each other to be the best versions of yourselves

Does the woman you are thinking of spending the rest of your life with have the ability to inspire and encourage you to be the best version of yourself?

You want a woman to be your cheerleader in life who will have the strength and courage to go through life’s ups and downs and uncertainties with you with a positive open-minded mindset.

In addition, does she have the capacity to challenge you from time to time (i.e. she calls you out on your crap because she cares!)?

She should respectfully challenge you from time to time to encourage you to stay true to your dreams, but at the same time, she doesn’t dismiss you. The goal is to support you, not to change or control you.

#3 You share similar core values

It is crucially important to ensure both of you share similar fundamental principles & values in life. We operate with our guiding principles/beliefs and we spend more time on what we value the most.

For example, if your core values for relationships or life in general are: commitment, faith, family, and loyalty, and her core values are: passion, playfulness, freedom and exploration, your values in life are completely different, and that is a big red flag.

She seeks adventures and freedom by traveling around the world, while you seek stability in family and commitment from the relationship. This may very well result in conflicts in the future since both of you value different things in life.

In addition, do you accept and support each other’s political and religious views? Do you both want a family or do you prefer a child-free life? What is your approach to finances after marriage?

The best thing to do is to have an open discussion with her and observe how she shows up in the relationship to know if you are truly compatible enough to consider marriage.

#4 You genuinely enjoy each other’s company

This seems like a basic concept but hear me out. For example, do both of you spend good quality time together as a couple? Do you put each other first and share some common interests, such as if both of you enjoy shopping, hiking, swimming, etc.?

If you enjoy road trips, will you have a good time with her if you were to drive 4 hours on the way to your destination? There should be some common things that both of you enjoy doing as a couple to bring closeness in a continuous and consistent manner.

These are some things I want you to FEEL. When you think of her, does she make you FEEL good? Do you experience life with her with positive emotions?

#5 You are sexually compatible

The most important and the only thing that differentiates friendship vs. intimate relationship is sexual intimacy. Ask yourself the following questions to gauge your sexual compatibility:

1) Do you have a good time in the bedroom?

2) Does she make you feel sexually desired?

3) Does she fulfill your sexual needs? I want you to think in terms of frequency, quality, and her openness to try new things to keep the fun going in the bedroom.

4) And you also want to make sure you are fulfilling her sexually as well with the above questions, and vice versa.

Sexual compatibility is very important. Continuously keeping passions alive in the bedroom will ultimately bring closeness and intimacy to create that special bond between the two of you.

#6 You trust her

Trust is something that’s intangible yet powerful. It is something that’s built with time and understanding. Do you wholeheartedly trust her to know that she will never steer you wrong and will always have your back?

If you feel she’s a partner whom you can trust with your life, you know you can put your defenses down in front of her and let your vulnerability be on display. And you know she trusts you enough to do the same.

If your trust level isn’t there yet, perhaps you need to continue dating without rushing into marriage. If your intuition tells you-you can’t wholeheartedly trust her as stated, please ask yourself why.

Did she do something in her past relationships that’s not trustworthy (such as: cheating, dishonesty, integrity issues etc.)? Or you do not have high trust in her because of something that she did in this relationship?
Guys- when there is no trust, there is no relationship!

I hope this video gives you great insights on how to evaluate if she’s the one you should marry. In addition, you can customize these areas by adding more criteria(s)that are best suitable for you to consider.

As always, I love you more!

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