I outsourced my intimacy..

I outsourced my intimacy..

kolline-lee-coaching-outsourced r

I outsourced my intimacy..

I outsourced my intimacy..

I believe I have a high sense of emotional resiliency, vulnerability, empathic listening skills, love and compassion..

Not only because I am a coach…



That’s just who I am..

As a woman..

As a person..

I recently had a conversation..

With an ex colleague..

Where he opened up..

To me..

The real reason why he was divorced..

From his perspective..

He had a job that was highly stressful..

So he claimed..

While he was married..

He also indulged in..


How do I say this?

He outsourced his intimacy with his wife..

To indulge in a variety of casual encounters…

Outside of his marriage…

He claimed his work stress made him..

Or perhaps his wife’s constant yelling at him..

Made it worse..

And that it was so stressful being the sole financial provider..

To his family..

With an unhappy wife..

She was miserable when kids were young..


He slowly seeked outside attention..

Whatever the reasons he justified with..

Not able to stay loyal & faithful to his wife..

While I was listening to him..

I noticed..

His nervous system was highly stressed and challenged at times..

I witnessed his-

Sweaty palms..

Shortness of breath..

Blushed cheeks..

Stuttering of his words..

Anxiously nervous..

I almost couldn’t stay in the presence of his energy..

He was making me feel slowly anxious..


As I said to myself..

I need to protect my energy while helping him.. regulate his emotions..

I said, “Todd, let’s take 3 breaths!”

As he sat across from me..

I instructed him to inhale, 1.2.3.


Exhale 1.2.3.

Then again..

In that moment..

I didn’t see him as the 51 year old man that he is…

I saw him as a 5 year old boy..

Who probably didn’t get the attention he needed..

From home..

Who probably had anxious attachment style..

Who didn’t always get to speak his mind or felt heard..

Whatever his reasons were that he wasn’t able to stay faithful to his wife..

That caused his failed marriage…

There are deep rooted wounds from his childhood that needed to be healed and uncovered..

I am certain..

If he doesn’t uncover the causes..

His pattern will just repeat itself onto the next relationship..

And contradict with what he wants to manifest..

As he shared his goal as..

“I want to be in a committed relationship with the right woman.”


~ Love you more ❤️


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