I love you, but……
I love you.
I can’t love you.
If loving you means-
I need to compromise on being who I am..
In this blossoming relationship-
Where I am being judged..
How I feel..
It limits me..
To speak my truths.
Because you get triggered-
By past judgements that..
Others have done to you.
That you become ridiculously moody-
And acted unreasonably
Blow things out of proportion.
From a simple discussion.
If you are under the influence of an anti-depressant medication..
That you abruptly-
Throw mood swings..
And I become aware..
You are easing off of it..
It seems like-
I am taking the consequences..
experiencing the symptoms.
If you have truly healed from your past toxic relationship.
If you have been relying on medications to boost your moods.
As if you’ve healed from your past wounds..
Until the truth came out-
That your “happiness” was just an illusion shown on dates.
You were wearing.
It was very confusing-
As you blew things way out of proportion.
And threw me “ultimatums.”
I was puzzled-
I should forgive you as you were under the “influence” of your withdrawal symptoms.
Or if I should even point the obvious to you..
Please don’t overlook or mistaken my sweet exterior and underestimate my inner strength..
In utilizing the power of walking away..
I don’t respond to “bullying” in any relationship..
I don’t respond to “ultimatums.”
Should I even tell you-
The real dealbreaker is-
Of not being honest with yourself..
Of not healing your past wounds..
But to sweep it under the rug..
Good luck to you.
Before I get destroyed in your inauthenticity..
Or the threats of your ultimatums..
Or the potentials of your withdrawal symptoms.
It’s just too unhealthy..
It’s just too confusing..
I love you, but..
I choose me.
～ Love you more ❤️